Don't cut (miad-sama fanfic)
by Boredotaku6
Summary: Depressed introvert meets kind and caring lover chapter 7 is up
1. -prolouge-

Misaki was a 17-year old. She was always laughed at for being a cult. No one ever paid attention to her, all they did was point fingers at her. They always gossiped about her and how she didn't have any friends. No one interacted with her because of the fear that they will be picked on too.

It kept eating her up inside. It wasn't her fault, she didn't choose to be this way. This college life was hell for her. She was just walking down the corridors, on her way to class. Her eyes down, her pace fast. She was trying not to focus on all the whispers that's surrounded her, what was that she could do to stop them. It was a question she asked herself every-single-day.

If it was her choice than she would rather have stayed home but she didn't want to waste the effort her mother and father put in to get her to college. These thoughts were shaken out of her head as she bumped into someone. She fell down as her books were scattered on floor.

Not saying anything she started to collect her books. She didn't even bother to look at the guy that she bumped into. To be honest she got really hurt by this fall, and of course she would. She was weak. She didn't eat anything much and didn't exactly pay attention to herself at all.

On the other hand, the guy that she bumped into was looking at her, staring to be more accurate. If he remembered correctly, she was the first girl to not go crazy at him or throw herself at him. She was just...he didn't know how to say it. He saw her, more clearly this time, and noticed that her eyes had black depressions underneath, as one of them were covered with her beautiful brown hair.

Never before had a girl caught his eye. Shrugging these thoughts off he offered her a hand...why. He thought. He had never before, than why her. He was just the type to ignore but he just felt a need to, towards her.

Misaki, who had currently just picked up the books looked up at him and finally got a view of his handsome features. He was tall with blonde hair and emerald green eyes. It didn't bother her, than she looked over at his hand that he had offered. She wanted to take it but didn't as she heard whispers coming from around the hall.

Girl 1: look at her, how she's trying to get closer to our usui.

Girl 2: Such a faker

Girl 3: obviously she wanted to bump into our usui. She wanted to get close

Girl 4: such a cult. She's annoying...

These voices carried own as she was on the verge of breaking into tears. Trying her best to hold them back she ignored his hand and than ran away into her classroom. The guy just stood their and watched her vanish into the corridors.

Girl 1: hmm... How dare she ignore usui like that.

Girl 2: she thinks she's superior than all of us

Girl 3: such a bitch

Girl 4: our usui, she's so mean

Usui who had overheard the gossips just decided to ignore them and walked away. He walked into his class and sat on his chair by the window staring out of it, not bothering to look at his surroundings. All that was on his mind was that girl. He didn't even know her name. Who was she...

~boredotaku


	2. Chapter 1: -why?-

The bell rang as all the students headed toward the cafeteria to eat their lunches. Misaki decided to just stay in class. Nor had she brought her lunch nor had she any friends, so she thought it was just better to stay in class and head-down for a bit.

Usui was just walking past her class as he noticed her. The mysterious girl who bumped into him earlier. He didn't know why but he just walked into her classroom. He stood besides her desk as a sudden urge to caress her hair washed over him. He moved his hand slowly towards her head, as his heart started to beat faster.

'Thump' 'Thump' 'Thump'

No...he stopped himself and just walked away. Meanwhile misaki just wondered who it was. The day went past quickly as the bell rang. It was the end of another day, just like any other. She stood up from her seat, grabbed her bag and walked out of class. While doing so she tripped, or more likely was tripped by a bunch if girls.

Girl 1: oops, sorry

She said in sarcastic way. Misaki ignored her and picked her books up. It was the second time that day. As she stood up and tried to walk out of class, the girl slammed her hand on the door in front of her, blocking her way. What did she do now. Misaki looked over at the girls in front of her and they all were giving her the looks.

She was dragged back to the now empty classroom. She looked up at them and asked in a cold voice.

'What do you want?'

Girl 1: don't give us attitude, know your place

Girl 2: yeah

Girl 3: you know why we're here

Misaki: why...

Girl 2: you tried to get close to our usui

Confused she asked

Misaki: who..?

Girl 1: oh please stop acting all innocent, it's gross

Girl 2: yeah, stop acting like you don't know him

Misaki: but I don't

Girl 3: oh then please let me tell you. He was the guy you bumped into this morning acting all innocent and girly

Misaki: I didn't do it on purpose

Girl 1: yeah right, such a liar

Misaki: but I didn't

Girl 2: haha. just remember this. Stay away from him.

Girl 3: He's ours.

With that the three girls went away. She felt sad, she was on the point where her tears were about fall out. What was her fault in it. She didn't intend to bump into him, it was just an accident. Usui...why did I have to bump into you? She cursed herself as she again picked her bag up and left as fast as she could .

Usui saw her walking out of school in a hurry and almost wanted to follow her but decided not to. Why even would he. He wasn't her classmate or friend so it would just look like a guy who was stalking her. He shrugged these thoughts and went back to his apartment.

Misaki reached her apartment and slammed open the door. She shut it and locked it, then rushed into her bathroom. Her tears overflowed as she looked herself in the mirror. 'I hate you' 'I hate you' she screamed over and over again. A blade laid on the counter as she picked it up.

One...two...three. Blood rushed down her arm as she cried. Her arm, filled with blood. Her eyes swollen from all the crying. Her legs gave up as she landed on the floor with a thud. She used the counter for support and pulled herself back up. Her tears still not stopping. The blade seemed be her only friend in this cruel world.

Not waiting for the blood to stop, she walked over to her room. Her eyes, lifeless. Her left arm hanging down, blood dripping out of it. She open the door and fell on her bed. She thought about what happened today and didn't notice when she had fallen asleep.

~boredotaku


	3. Chapter 2: -your name?-

Misaki woke up, being greeted by the rays of the sun. With burning eyes she pulled the curtains with all the strength that she had. Her left arm scorched and she was cold because of the fact she slept in her uniform. She groaned and sluggishly stood up from the bed.

She walked over to the bathroom to clean up the frozen blood that laid on her arm. Misaki took a towel that was placed by the shower and got it a bit damp. Then wiped the blood off of her arm, slightly feeling the pain.

Soon after, she straightened out the dress that she was wearing and wore the blazer on top. No one could see her scars, fresh or old it didn't matter. She knew this day would be like every other in her life. Tiring. Depressing. And Horrible.

She went down to the kitchen and got some breakfast. It was just a normal meal, cereal and milk. Considering she skipped dinner and lunch, she was really hungry. It wasn't like she could cook anyways, so she would mostly just skip it.

Looking at the time, she proceeded on her journey to Sieka, much to her dismay. She got on the bus and knew that she'll be late. It was already 8:35 and the opening time was 8:00. She sighed and kept staring at the time. Minute after minute, time passed. And soon it was 9:00. She had missed the first lesson.

'Just great..' She thought. Now she would have to listen to the teacher rant on and on about how careless she is. Maybe it would've been better to stay home today. If she had than she wouldn't have to listen to anyone scolding her. Another sigh escaped her lips as the bus's doors opened.

She got off and made her way towards her, not so long awaited, destination. It took her exactly bout ten minutes to walk over to school. She stopped at the shoe locker, changed her shoes, proceeded towards class. Her fast pace echoed in the halls, as she finally opened the door to class 2-1.

Everyone's attention was drawn towards her. The teacher looked over at her and gave her a angry mixed with disgusted look.

"Well everybody, look who finally decided to show up" and so the class started to gossip. This teacher she really hated. He was the worst of them all, itomo sensei. (if that even is a real name). "Why are you late, misaki?" He spoke with true hatred and despise towards her.

She was often late to his class, which was one of the reasons he hated her. Furthermore, she never really did the assignments given by him, and she also didn't pay attention to his class. So it was technically her fault, which she didn't exactly deny but she still hated him. Guess this is what you call mutual feelings, huh?

"Sensei, I overslept..." She said in a low voice, almost like a whisper, but it was clear cold enough to send chills down anyone's spine. And just that moment the, not so good, sensei raged with anger. He shouted at her, told her that it's not a good reason, gave her warnings along with a 2 hour detention. But this wasn't exactly a thing that she would break into tears on.

She kept her lifeless expression and moved towards her seat. Then the teacher continued his lesson. She overheard some classmates talk about her.

'Dude, she is so stubborn.'

'Yeah, she didn't even say sorry'

'When it was clearly her fault'

'So much attitude...'

Itomo: QUIET DOWN!!!

And so the class was in complete silence. Misaki just stayed in her own thoughts about what she'll do about detention and what she'll have as dinner today. She didn't really care about studying all that much. She always got good passing marks and never really failed on any tests, ever.

That was also a thing she was hated for. She was different, one of the reasons she wasn't accepted into society. Why was she so different, what made her different, another question that she didn't had an answer to.

Bells after bells, the lessons passed as lunch break came. Today she decided to walk on the roof to get some fresh air. She was tired, yes, but that didn't mean that she would just sit all day. And so she went. She walked up the stairs and outside. She looked around and there was no one to be found.

She smiled and sighed. loudly she spoke, while stretching her arms, "finally, alone." Little did she know that a certain someone was on roof with her. It was takumi usui. He was just laying around, bunking classes, on the roof. Curious he looked down and saw the girl that he couldn't get out of his head for a while now.

He saw her walk towards the balcony and stare downwards. He, wanting to know her more, went closer to her. And as usual he had made his existence unknown. Meanwhile, misaki was thinking..'what would happen if I jumped...no one would care..' The voices in her head started to get loud.

'Jump' 'jump' 'jump'. A tear leaked out of her eye as she climbed up on the metal border (I dunno what u call that). Usui's eyes widened. What was she about to do. He rushed towards her, she was about to jump. In a blink of an eye, she jumped...

"Got you.." He pulled her back up and fell backwards on the floor. She was in his arms. She didn't know who saved her, but it was a warm feeling. She liked it, in years she hadn't felt this. Tears overflowed, as she buried her face in his chest, not bothering to look up.

"What were you about to do...?" He asked and no reply came. He sat straight, she was still leaning onto him. He sighed and wrapped his arms around her. Slow whispers came, through her sobbing. 'You should've let me die...I'm a failure' she pulled away from him and looked him in the eye. She saw his concern.

She then felt that his arms were wrapped around her and a blush appeared on her face, 'kawaii...' He thought. Her tears stopped as she struggled to get away from his hold as he just tightened it more.

"Let me go..." She said while struggling. "Hmm, I don't want to" he answered with a smirk on his face which just her blush all the more. "I-idiot, let..me..go" "not until you agree to something" she stopped struggling and sighed. "Fine, what is it?" "I'll wait for you at the entrance door, you have to come with me to somewhere. Oh and I'm takumi usui. Nice to meet you"

He flashed her a smile which made her forget to argue on how she didn't want to go, and she just replied with a simple, "misaki, misaki ayuzawa"

-boredotaku


	4. Chapter 3: Unfortunate

She was sitting in detention, lifeless and with a sharp pain that inhibited her arm. Usui's hold earlier on her made it hurt really bad, it burned and it was getting hard for her to move her arm around. She didn't blame him, he didn't even know. Even luck wasn't on her side, on her way to detention she hit her arm at the side of the door. Another impact and it would surely start to bleed.

She left her arm hanging down on the desks' side and set her head on the table, allowing herself to fall deep into her thoughts for a short amount of time. She heard the door slide open and some footsteps entering the classroom. She didn't care enough to see who it was so she just kept laying on the table and zoned-out.

background noises*

Detention teacher: o-oh, u-usui-san did you have s-some work here?

The teacher, trying to get usui's attention, said while blushing. Usui on the other hand had his full focus on the girl that was sleeping at the desk in the corner of the classroom.

Usui: I think the principal was looking for you...

Sensei: the principal! Oh my, I need to go now. Would you be so kind to take a look of things here usui-san.

Usui: *smile* yes of course.

The sensei blushed madly and exited the classroom in a daze. When the sensei had left usui approached the sleeping beauty that was before him. Her Raven locks fell on the side of her shoulder which was followed by an arm hanging down lifelessly off the table that she laid on oh-so beautifully.

He was mesmerized by the view that displayed upon him. For some reason his heart always beat intensely, he had never felt this feeling before. Not any girl had ever made him feel this way before then why her. He just couldn't help but feel as though she was special, different form all the other girls.

On the other hand, misaki felt someone towering over her. She shifted her head to the side, only a bit, just to see who was invading her personal space, and found the perverted man that had forced her to come with him after school. She frowned instantly but at same time felt relief?

She didn't know what to call this feeling that had washed over her. This was something new for her. She was just used to being ignored, bullied, teased and made fun of, but never had she felt this warm feeling inside her chest that she was feeling right now. Her eyes turned from cold, emotionless to warm, and cozy.

Usui: so, I see you got detention

His voice set fireworks in her stomach as she for a moment became frozen at the very spot. His jade green eyes staring intensely into her own ember ones, it was alone enough to make her feel accepted in this world where she had felt nothing but loneliness and rejection. She liked this feeling but at the same time she hated it. Emotions were just a weakness in her mind.

Shrugging these thoughts she replied in a cold voice, her eyes reverting back to state they once were in, lifeless, emotionless. Usui noticed her change in emotions, he found it amusing yet confusing on why she was that way, maybe that's why he wanted to get closer to her... _maybe_.

Misaki: I'm sure that you have the eyes to see that I did...or maybe your so dumb that you can't even see.

She mumbled the last part to herself, not knowing that the so-called pervert had heard her. He chuckled to himself and continued

Usui: hmm, maybe I am that dumb

He flashed her a smirk while she was just staring at him with a tint of amusement in her eyes, which was barely seen. But seeing how much attention he had been paying to her, he noticed her every single emotion.

Misaki: idiot...

He again chuckled at her response as he found her pout to be extremely cute.

Misaki: what are you even doing here

Usui: waiting

Misaki: for who

Usui: you of course

His answer was obvious, yet because of her absent mindedness, it got her dumbfounded. She made a bank face for a while which made usui chuckle to himself. She than realized what he had meant. She was to go out to someplace with him after school, she didn't think that anyone would be dumb enough to just wait two or more hours for someone, especially like her, but he did.

Somehow, it got her disappointed yet happy? How annoying theses mixed emotions were to her. She sighed loudly and finally sat up straight staring into his ember orbs. Her hair fell on her face covering one of her eyes, it...was her normal look. That's how she was everyday. She stared at him, half-asleep because of her tiredness, half in pain because of her arm.

She felt pain, yes but she was just so used to it that it was really easy for her to hide it all. Usui saw her flinch a bit, only for a mere second when she did , and than back to normal. What was up with her, was she in pain. Obviously usui knew how to keep a poker face on and when someone was keeping it, he saw right through them, and Misaki had that poker face on. He wanted to ask her but knowing that she wouldn't be comfortable in telling him, he just ignored the urge to do so.

Usui: so are yo-

He was interrupted when the door opened. The sensei had come back fuming to the classroom. She supposedly got scolded because usui had lied to her about the principal thing, and the principal wasn't the kind to joke with. Poor sensei...

Sensei: usui-san, the principal said that he didn't call me

He walked over to her slowly and gave her the most innocent look he had, he really hated making up this faces just to get out of situations but he had to so he wouldn't get in trouble. He _did_ skip classes and everything so it was a wild card for him to use.

Usui: sorry sensei, but...I really thought that he called out to you

He faked some tears at the corner of his eyes making the sensei all flustered and fuming...

Sensei: Oh-no no no usui-san, it wasn't your fault, it's ok, everyone makes mistakes

He smiled like a little kid who just got a lot of chocolates or something he had been wanting for a month, pheromones emitting from his very figure, sparkles all around him, almost blinding the sensei, how was it even possible...

Usui: thank you, sensei!

Her nose bled as she just waved at him telling him it's no big deal and ran off to the girls washroom to cool her head. Meanwhile Misaki just sat their looking at him as if he were an alien who just landed on her with his spaceship. How could someone emit so many pheromones.

Usui caught her staring at him and smirked while turning back to face her, her face still in shock, though a normal person wouldn't have been able to notice that, usui did. She really was amusing. She turned her face away, her cheeks slightly tinted in pink, so cute, he thought.

Usui: so, as I was saying, ready to go?

He gave her a kind smile, not the one that he had given to sensei but this one was from the heart, warm and comforting, which had butterflies flying in her stomach. Weird is what feeling these emotions made her feel. She sighed and replied with a tired 'fine' while he just smiled at her and led her out of detention.

They walked out of the school's gate as misaki was glad that no one was around at this time, who would be two hours after school ended, except from those like her who needed to, and probably an idiot. The she looked up at the man walking besides her, _idiots like him_...she thought.

She mumbled a 'idiot' under her breathe that didn't go unnoticed by him as he just smiled and chuckled a bit to himself, which was mostly just ignored by her. They walked in silence, dreadful silence for Usui, while peaceful for misaki, with her also maintaining a fine distance between him and her. He sighed and decided to break the silence with the first thing that came to his mind, surely he didn't think it through,

Usui: why did you jump?

As soon as those words left his lips, he froze, wasn't this a sensitive topic. He mentally slapped himself for what he had said out of his own curiosity and foolishness. She stopped in her tracks, a blank cold expression took over her features that had softened a bit, just a bit. She stared at him, the dead expression never leaving, as though she was looking through his soul, he shivered at her piercing stare.

Misaki: i should've known, I'll be leaving.

As she turned to step away, he grabbed her arm. A sudden pain coursed through her body as she held in a scream or a Yelp that would've escaped her throat. Her eyes shut tight, she let out a deep breath and turned to look at him only to find him with a shocked and sorry expression on his face. Why was he making that face?

She wondered and then tried to take her arm back when she noticed a trail of blood trickling down. Her shirt was stained with blood as she noticed his hand, red with her blood. She mentally cursed and shook her arm from his grasp, trying to hold in any expressions or sounds that may indicate she was in pain.

Misaki: as I said, I'll be leavin-ng

She, once again just wanted to kill herself for this. Why did her voice have to crack the second she said something. Not wanting him to speak anything further she held her arm tightly, as if to stop the blood, and walked away fast making her way back to her apartment. Meanwhile, he was still just standing there, stunned by what he saw.

Why was there so much blood on her arms? He wanted to chase her, ask her what's wrong, comfort her from whatever she was facing but his legs wouldn't move. He tried to say something to stop her, but his voice wouldn't come out. He cursed under his breath and just ran after her, trying to figure out where she went, but he was too late as she was nowhere to be seen.

He sighed, and made his resolve to ask he and try his best to help her. He just proceeded back to his own apartment, still thinking as to why...why was..., his mind was just too scrambled to think anything else. All night, his thoughts kept drifting off to her. He just wanted to hold her in his arms and whisper to her that everything will be alright, but none of it could be done.

-that night-

'Misaki, your mom's sick so we're going to the hospital. Take care of yourself, alright?'

Misaki: but dad, what happe-

'Sorry, misa. I have to go. Good Night and take care, bye'

And with that the call ended.

~boredotaku


	5. Chapter 4: Shifting

'Sakuya, welcome' he said as he opened the door, surprised to see his old friend. He never usually came over without a heads-up or something. Taking in his form, he noticed the swollen eyes, eye bags underneath. His disheveled hair. He surely wasn't planning this.

'Come in'

'Thanks, Yuu'

As he walked in, he saw Patricia sitting on the couch. She walked over with a smile on her face and patted him on the back. 'Hello, sakuya! Long time no see old pal.' That was followed by a lot more pats on the back, hard not to mention, and some laughs, which were not really necessary... 'Ahmm,' Yuu [Hirose] coughed as he latched her away from him.

He looked over at him again with kind eyes as he welcomed him in. 'Have a seat Sakuya. How've you been' he said as he seated himself on the couch opposite to the one he was sitting on. 'Well... To be honest, I wanted to ask you for a favor, Yuu.'

~MeanWhile~

She laid in her room, the sun setting outside, the whole apartment, quite, as the only sounds that could be heard were of the two birds that just happened to pass by randomly. Covered with a blanket, she was on her phone. Not for a second the thought of her sickly mother leaving her. The terrified voice of her dad echoing in her mind, replaying again and again.

Was it that serious? Was she that sick?...a tear leaked from her eye. Even though she was away from them for a long time, they were still the closest people in her life, most important as well...the only ones that didn't abandon her. Before she knew it her tears began to fall freely. She started scrolling on her phone once again making an attempt to distract herself from...'this'.

But it was to no avail as her mind was too filled with worry. Soon the the sky was covered with darkness as little stars shined through it. Putting her phone away, she looked through her window. Somehow, she always found the night sky mesmerizing. The beauty in it was like none other, it always seemed to calm her down, distract her from her messed up life.

She laid her head in her arms on the window sill, looking out in the sky. So dark yet so beautiful. there's no moon that's why it's dark she took a deep breath and felt herself calm down. It felt good to take a day off. No people around her who would gossip, no dumb bitches who would annoy or bother her, no detention, no classes, no worry, no nothing. It felt nice to be away from her depressing routine.

She picked herself up and stretched out on the bed. Taking a look around she noticed what a mess her room was, noodle cups all around, her uniform crumpled up in the corner, books spread on her desk and... Blood stains. She sighed, then called the maid in. Knowing that the room would be clean, she grabbed the towel and headed to the shower.

She slowly peeled her clothes off, placed them in the basket, and turned on the shower. Warm water dripped from her face, down to her body. It felt relaxing. She stretched her arm to grab the soap and saw the marks. So evident they were, some were fresh while the others were old, but it didn't matter. No one would see them, no one would ever find out.

...I dunno if what I'm writing is good or not, be gentle T~T

She came back to the room and let out a sigh of relief. Drying her hair she sat herself in the bed. She picked up her phone and proceeded to put it on charge, deciding that she'll sleep in early when her dads contact popped up on the screen. It wasn't even a second ring before she picked up the call.

'Hell-'

'H-hello, d-dad. How's mom, is she okay. She'll be fine right, what's wrong with her..'

'Misaki... ' there was a long pause after he said that as if controlling his voice from cracking up.

'D-dad?'

'Misa, you'll be staying over at a friends house these few days... '

'B-but why, dad I'm fine here-'

'Please misa, just this once so I know your safe, please...'

'Da-

'It's better if you pack up now, you'll only need your clothes and toiletries, it's not exactly a house but a big apartment so you'll be comfortable. It'll be to your liking I promise.'

'...'

'Misaki?'

'Ok...but what's wrong with mom?'

'I'm sorry, I can't tell you right now'

I dunno sakuya's character that well so I dunno how's he like in a serious situation. I mean he was only in 3-4 chapters so... :P

'they'll be coming to pick you up in an hour so be ready till than, take care'

And with that, once again with no information about mom, he closed the call. Why wasn't he telling her what was happening to her mom. What was it that he couldn't tell her. She sighed. There was no use in 'calming down', life just was this way to her. Never giving her a chance to collect herself, what was the point in taking these few days off.

One day of rest and the next she's in this state and have to move out. 'Just great' she thought. Sighing once again she begin to pack up. Pj's, toiletries, cellphone, charger, uniform... Uniform? She thought it over. It wasn't like she had any plans to go to seika but she put it in, just in case. Even if it was dirty and crumpled. The school bag, notebooks, stationary. Her undergarments which for some reason we're all black and some lacy :3

She began to wonder again, did she need any dresses to go outside and stuff. She didn't go outside much so she only had two to three dresses, her closet was mostly filled with pj's and nighties. almost the same thing. Seeing that she had no need, she just put one in, just in case, and packed her suitcase. Looking around one more time, she ended up in the bathroom.

Walking to the sink, she looked herself in the mirror. Such a tired face, ugly not to mention that's how she saw herself who would even want to look at this. Her eyes, huge bags underneath, dull ambers, who would wanna look at this. Her eyes wandered off to the 'friend' that was laying on the counter. Her eyes darkened at the site. 'One cut won't hurt right?' 'Just one' 'one' 'just one' 'maybe more'

Her hands shakily went up to it, picking it up, bringing it slowly down to her arm. "Just one". Just as she was about to, her pen an inch away from her paper she so gracefully was to draw on, a loud noise echoed the place. She startled a bit, cutting her finger tip. 'The doorbell' she thought. She paced to the door, ignoring the painful yet somehow satisfying sting on her finger, leaving behind a trail of drops as she rushed.

Opening the door she was greeted with two faces, warm blue and emerald green eyes. Such a warm welcoming look on their face that warmth somehow covered her heart, spreading through her body. 'Wierd yet somehow so familiar' she thought.

"That was fast" said the blonde lady, smiling an oh-so-cheerful smile. Her eyes wandered down to her hand, seeing it, bleeding?!

"Oh my god, dear what happened to your hand" she said as she took it in her own, making her jerk back a little from the physical action.

"Uh-oh, um it's nothing. *fake smile, somehow not too* come in." She said taking her hand back and gesturing them to come in.

"Thank you. Shouldn't you do something about that, dear."

"Misaki, Misaki Ayuzawa. And it's nothing for you to worry about"

"I'm Patricia and he's-" "Yuu, Yuu Hirose, you should bandage that up, it's deep" he spoke with a deep caring voice. Her eyes slightly widened, an action not gone unnoticed by him. He smiled at her as he gestured her to sit in the couch. She did as he got up, asking her about the first-aid box.

He came back quickly, taking gently and caring-ly in his hands her own, putting on a bandage so lovingly on the cut. do NOT take this the wrong way, it's just fatherly love thing uno :P, though I doubt any of you did. A sudden sob, just one as tears, only a few, just ran down her cheeks. Though her face was just surprised, wide eyes and an emotionless expression. Patricia seeing this suddenly brought a hand up to her cheek, wiping them off, looking at her with a surprised look.

"What's wrong" "huh?" Noticing what just happened she brought her hands quickly up to her face and wiped them off. 'What the hell is wrong with me'. Yuu stood up ruffling her hair, smiling at her.

"He might've told you already but we're here to take you to the your new apartment. " smiling at her, he moved to her suitcase and picked it up, walking out the door, while Patricia took her with her. Misa locked the door keeping the keys with her since she thought that she'll come back eventually and followed behind, thinking that she maybe should've changed into something more formal but she let it go, it didn't matter anyways.

~Time Skip~

"So... This is the apartment?" She asked in a emotionless voice.

"Yeah, it's where my son lives. I don't know if he told you or not but you'll be living with our son, but don't worry. He won't be a bother to you and on the plus side, he cooks really well." Patricia said cheerfully.

~Meanwhile~

All day he had waited for her but she never showed. He went in her class to check if she was there, in break he searched her class, the cafeteria, the school grounds, the gymnasium, he even waited in the roof hoping that she would come, so he could ask her and comfort her, but the whole day passed and she was nowhere to be seen. Why were her matters troubling him?

Why did he care? It wasn't his problem if she was going through hard times than why did he care when he had never before? Deep down, he still knew but every time he chose to ignore it. The care, the worry, the... 'love', it was all for her. That's true, he found her amusing, those little emotions she showed, that cute face she made whenever she blushed, those sweet and soft expressions of hers...

He loved her and he knew that, he didn't love her just because she was amusing or different than the others, he loved her because of her and that was something new to him. He cared for her and wanted to help her but no matter how much he did, there would always be a wall around her that he couldn't break. He had so many questions for her, so many answers he needed.

He had always heard the girls gossiping about her and he wanted to know why she was hated. That day, the blood on her arm. That croak in her voice, the pain in her eyes, it for some reason broke him. He looked down in his hands and saw them shaking and didn't get the reason why. But what couldn't be helped, couldn't be helped.

"Two days already..."

He sighed, wishing that he had seen her today, he proceeded to make himself a cup of coffee. It was done and just as he was about to pour it, unexpectedly the door bell rang. Not being in much of a hurry, he filled his cup, making a delicious cup of cream coffee. The scent was delicious and it looked like it was made by a professional chef not that he was any less than one

The doorbell rang again and he just groaned inwardly, walking toward the door reluctantly with the cup of coffee in his hand. He wasn't expec- "takumiiiiii" Patricia said as she clung onto him, kissing him mercilessly on his cheek. Misaki just stood there watching them as a soft giggle escaped her lips that soon turned into a small laugh.

Usui who was surprised to even see her here was mesmerized by her soft laugh that died down as quick as it started. She apparently didn't see the face of the young man yet. "Mom, let go" "aww but my taku is sho cuteeeee" she said as she tried to clung on to him again but he stopped her with his hand, keeping her at a far distance.

Hirose patted her head inviting her inside, Lots of head-pats, am I right? (~ ~)~ passing the lovely mother and son by, she saw him, staring at her. Her little surprised expression mirrored his. Guess he didn't know about this either. She shrugged it off and tried to act like it was nothing but it still bothered her. Life just hated her that much, huh?

He took her to the couch and gestured for her to sit down. Latching Patricia away from takumi, he came back and motioned for him to sit too, besides Misaki. And so he did, reluctantly, but he did.

"Taku dear, Misaki here will be staying here with you"

He was shocked and he tried to reason with her

"Mom but-"

"Now now dear, her dad, who's our old friend, came to us with a... Request you can say and we can't deny him his-"

Yuu coughed at the moment

"Misaki dear, let me drop you off to your room"

He offered, an offer she accepted quickly as she wanted to get away from him. When they both went to the room she Patricia put on a serious face, the one he couldn't and was afraid of to defy.

"As I was saying it was her dads wish for us to take care of her and so she'll be staying here. she looked at him dead serious you better take care of her takumi. She's fragile from what I've seen" her eyes had a hint of pain and worry mixed with tenderness and care for her, she was still serious but her eyes softened a bit

"Mom, I can just have another apartment as she can stay here if it's just about you taking care of he-"

(Yuu) "did you like your room?" *smile*

"Yeah, it was nice" she tried to smile back but she couldn't. He just whispered a 'you don't have to force yourself' and than she had that tender look in her eyes as she than thanked him and they both walked back to the living room.

"Yuu dear, shall we leave now?" She said ignoring what takumi was saying before.

"Yes, I suppose we should. Take care of yourself, misa." He said ruffling her hair once again and than nodding to takumi that they'll now be leaving.

"Byeee taku dear and misa-chaaan, muah" she blew a kiss and they both walked out closing the door behind them. Then whole apartment was then left in silence as they both stood on their places. She decided to break it whispering only something along the lines of, 'don't disturb me' and then she went back to her room.

He walked towards the couch and sat down on it, deciding wether he liked the fact that she was here or hated it. He sighed and proceeded on drinking his coffee that somehow hadn't cooled down. He went back to his room with it and started reading a book, just trying to distract himself from the situation at hand, soon deciding that he would just have to deal with it.

Meanwhile, Misaki flopped down on the bed, a hand covering her eyes. Why do bad things always happen to her. Why did everything hate her so much. She groaned, loud enough that he, who happened to be in the next room heard it. She decided to just sleep and put all her stuff in its place in the morning. As she was lying down she felt something in her pocket.

Proceeding on checking what it was, she put a hand in and found her 'friend'. She brought it out and held it up in her hand, while she was laying down. She smiled, a bittersweet smile, "you never leave me, do you"

She put that on the counter and turned off the lights. Life was gonna be hectic and she knew it was gonna be troublesome...

 **Pretty bad I know but I tried my best T~T**

 **Anyways check out this manga:** NAMAIKIZAKARI it's so flufffyyyyyy and cuteeeeeee

~boredotaku


	6. Chapter 5: It never heals does it?

Elementary:

The bell rang as all the students gathered up in the assembly. A start of a new year in misaki's life it was. Her first day in elementary school. Her hands intertwined with her mothers who was here to drop her off. "Momma, I'm going to make lotssssss and lotssssss of friends today" she said cheerfully as her mother smiled at her.

"Of course you are, now go on" a little push on the back and she was running in the building. All students gathered up in their respective classes. As the introduction of all the students carried on, she doodled in her notebook, and finally it was her turn.

She rose up form her seat, her beautiful Raven hair flowed in the wind as her eyes sparkled with excitement. All were mesmerized by her beauty.

"My name is Misaki ayuzawa and I like almost everything. My hobbies are to draw but I mostly just doodle. I hope that we all can be good friends and that we all will get along with each other *smile*"

She sat down and everyone was watching her in awe, 'she's so cute' and 'such a site to see', and related thoughts were in everybody's head. The teacher coughed to get them all out of that state and gestured for the next person to continue with the introductions. The whole day carried on as she just doodled and stared of outside the window since she was in the second-last seat besides the window

At break, she surprisingly well not so much made a lot of friends and she was happy. They all surrounded her, asking her meaningless questions like,

"You're so cute, misa-channnn~"

"What kind of shampoo do you use, your hair is so silky and shiny"

"Just a normal one" (misa) *smile*

"Haaa, you smell nice too. Are you wearing a perfume"

"Haha, no I'm too young to use one" (misa)

"Misa-chaannn~ you're so pretty and your skin glows."

"Yeah, your smile is beautiful too"

"And you have pretty amber eyes, they're so shiny"

"Ahaha, thank you all"

ahermm* Moving on..

The day passed as she went back home. She had the keys in her school bag because she knew that both, mom and dad, wouldn't be home till the afternoon. Opening the door with the keys, she proceeded to go to her room. She put her school bag on the chair, slid out of her uniform and into a comfy onesie, and came downstairs. She opened the fridge and found the food that her mom had left her.

All she had to do was heat it up and after doing so, she ate and then went back to her room for a little nap. She slept till the sun set and woke up at night. Swaying a little, she carried herself across her room, down the stairs, obviously hungry. Her tiny body didn't make any sound as she wandered down the stairs, but she stopped as she heard her mom shout.

"Why Should I Not, I'm Tired Of Taking Care Of Her! Why Can't I Have Some Peace Of Mind. Her School Fees, Your Debt, Your Unusual TantRUMS, I'M TIRED OF DEALING WITH THIS!!!"

"Minako! Quiet down, all I'm asking you is to not smoke, is that too much t-"

"YES THAT IS TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR!!! WHY CAN'T I JUST DO SOMETHING THAT GIVES ME A PEACE OF MIND! I'VE HAD ENOUGH, DON'T COME AFTER ME, I'LL BE BACK WHEN I WANT TO!!" *slam!!* and she came out of the room.

Little did she know that her 5-year-old daughter had listened, her eyes were wide with fear, "momma, d-do you h-hate me?" And in a reply all she heard was a 'tsk'. Her mother had left and not soon after, so did her father. She tried to act normal as he was going, "Daddy, where are you going? "

"Hmm? Oh, my dear, I'm just going out to enjoy myself for a bit, I'll come back home late so order something if you get too hungry, alright. Don't wait for me, bye dear." He smiled such a strained smile at her. His eyebrows were furrowed, his smile was crooked, his hand fisted up. Did he really expect her to believe? But he left anyways, no pat on her head, no kiss on her cheek and not even a genuine goodbye.

She felt as if something inside her tore open, like something just cracked a little inside and that it started to bleed. Was she a burden? Was she hated? Did they not want her anymore? She finally fell down on her knees, and she cried that night, she cried uncontrollably. She fell asleep on the stairs and woke in the morning with swollen red eyes, a really bad backache, a headache and worst of all, a pain in her chest accompanied by hateful thoughts for herself.

She checked the time and saw that it was just 5:37am, she did her homework that was left and tried to study her pain away, thinking that it would work. Pages after pages she filled with notes and finished many chapters. She studied and studied but it didn't go away... '7:46, I should get ready for school now.' She had her uniform on, the books in her bag, the notes all torn and burned, her hair was let down and it being short it covered her one eye. She walked to school glumly, anyone who approached her would just be rejected and then that's when it started.

The next few days, at home things were kind of the same, mom not being home nor dad. At school she thought she could get some peace but it was all too good to hope for. Those so called friends finally bullied her. It started out as spreading rumors to ending with bullying. She could do nothing, couldn't tell her parents, couldn't tell others, no one was to be trusted, aaahhh what a tragedy. She cried herself to sleep every night. Her stomach growled, the pain in her chest grew wider, nightmares took over, her world had already fallen into darkness... _'Aahh, I'm falling again. Isn't someone here? Someone, please...save me, save me, save me, I'm falling, please...'_

Flashback end:

'SAVE ME!!!' She woke up from her dream in a shock. She had just screamed out. She was panting and her tears rolled down, it's been so long since she had that dream. The past always made sure to remind her of itself. She picked up the pillow and hugged, trying to control her whimpers and screams that threatened to escape. She was always a silent crier but for some reason she felt like screaming this night. She scratched herself, she pinched herself, it wouldn't work, they won't go back in. 'Why, why, why ,why, why, why, why...'

click* "ayuzawa are you ok?!" He came rushing in in a hurry, his hair was disheveled, his shirt clumsily buttoned, his glasses on and his eyes shining with worry. *what a sight to see ~( ~ )~*

She jerked her head back up to see who it was and saw him. She wanted his help, for him to help her but her walls were too thick, the thread around her was too tangled up, she couldn't escape even if she wanted to. So she screamed at him, "Get Out, Who Told You That You Could Come I-in Here" her voice wavered again. He didn't budge but instead took a step towards her, "What're You Doing, I Said Get Out!!!" She threw him a pillow. He dodged it and rushed over to her. He trapped in his arms tightly, even if he was debating whether it was a good idea or not, he did it anyways, towards her he was soft.

She froze for a bit, her eyes widened and she felt as if warmth just spread through her whole body, and then when she was out of her trance, she started to hit him. "Leave me, Let Me Go, You Perverted Freak, Let. Me. Go. Right. Now" he held her closer to him and put her head on his shoulder to lean on, then he just hugged her tighter. He kept taking her punches that she was throwing at his back while at the same time crying onto him. So precious.

After 10 minutes or so, she slowed down but her sobs didn't, instead she just started to whimper. He started to caress her hair gently, whispering calming words. Not soon did she fell asleep in his arms, and he felt as though a huge weight had been lifted off of his chest. So weird it was, he just couldn't see her hurt. He laid her down and was about to leave when... "Don't go..." She whispered with a tear in her eye, yes she woke up. This is not in her sleep she brought up her weak arm and held his wrist. "Please, don't leave me alone like they did. Hold me like you did before, please" she started to sob again.

How could he deny, and so he did, hesitantly but he did. He got inside her blanket and hugged her close. She cuddled up close to him, she wanted to deny but something stopped her, maybe it was the warmth inside her or maybe it was because the continuously bleeding scars felt as though they started to bleed less. He caressed her hair in a soothing motion, I wanna sleep in someone's armssss ~(T~T ~) until her breath had turned back to normal and she was asleep.

He soon felt at ease and fell asleep with her too. He still wondered why she was crying and why she screamed for help but assuming that it was just a bad dream he kept it to ask for later and drifted off into sleep as well.

 _'In the end, we're all tangled up in our all lies' ~me_

~boredotaku


	7. Chapter 6: The Void

cough cough cough* *cough cough cough cough* she spit blood out not so soon after that. "Minako, minako. It's alright, it's alright" he said rubbing her back as she spit in the bin. He had tears in his eyes as he watched his wife suffer from pain. He held her hands shakily and felt how cold they were. She had become so weak over the course of time. Her skin was pale, colorless. Her lips were dry and torn, her eyes droopy and lifeless with huge black depressions surrounding them.

"Minako, it'll be alright, everything will be fine" he tried to assure her but was rather assuring himself. She let out a chuckle that turned into a cough. With a weak smile on her face, she took his face in her palm and whispered, 'we both know that I'll die soon. I at least don't want to see you cry when I do *cough cough cough* *cough*'

He started to cry a ton and put her hand to his forehead, "don't say that minako, don't say that, don't say that, don't leave me, please please please please..."

She just smiled grimly, what had life done to her, what had she done to herself *sigh*

"Shall we do it in a few days?" She questioned.

"Whenever you're ready minako, whenever you're happy" he assured her.

Meanwhile, at the apartment:-

She rolled over, and found nothing but coldness. She moved her hand around wondering, 'cold... cold? warmth? where'd it go?' She slowly opened her eyes and was surprised to see that the curtains were closed. Well at least today her eyes wouldn't be pierced by the sun, 'phew'. But the thing that bothered her was, where was he?

That empty hole, that void, that numbing pain, it appeared again. She thought about what she did last night, she reflected on her actions. How could she ask someone to do that for her. How was she supposed to face him now. Wouldn't he question? Wouldn't he judge her? How can everything be just like before where she could just ignore him...

Her hands started to quiver, she wanted to feel something physical. 'I don't like this, I don't like this, this void left by the past, left by THEM. I hate this. I don't want to be numb, yes, yes, I can feel physical pain, I can feel pain, I won't be numb anymore, no more numbness...' A little chuckle escaped her throat. Not being patient enough to find her little friend, she tried to do it with her nails. She brought them up to her arm, looking off at the wall and tried to scratch them.

Feeling something other then her skin, she looked down and noticed that it was bandaged up. "Did he...do this" she whispered. It was a statement rather than a question. Why... Did he think that she needed some pity? Her eyes narrowed. Who was he to take care of her. She hardly knew him. Did he really think that just because of the circumstances he could get closer to her, he-he could violate her privacy?!?

He must be disgusted of her right now, he must think she was an eyesore. A dark chuckle escaped her throat. "I want to hear what you'll say usui takumi" He was gonna spread rumors about her now, she was sure of it. More gossip was gonna start, more bullying, more stress, more pressure, more pain, more headaches... It was good that she decided to take some days off but what was going to happen when she went back. 'I don't want to deal with this...' She proceeded on with her morning routine. She took a bath, taking off the bandage and changed into a new pair of PJ's.

Her hand started shaking as she brought it up to the door handle, she didn't want to face him, she didn't want to talk about it, she didn't want to justify what she did. Taking in a deep breath, she opened the door and saw that the lights were turned off and no one was in sight. Huh? That's when realization hit her. It was Friday and 10:03am at that. Why would he be home.

Sighing in relief she stretched her arms hissing a bit as her wounds stretched, but it was fine. It was way better than that numb feeling. This felt good compared to that muted sensation. She felt something trickle down her cheek. She brought up her hand to feel what it was and felt something wet... Was she crying? She went ahead to look at herself in the mirror, she was crying.

Why? She didn't know. Pain? But it didn't hurt. Her mom? But she never cried because of that. U...sui? But what even was he to her. She violently covered her mouth to stop any noises from escaping. It didn't hurt, nothing was that wrong, then why was she crying, she didn't even feel sad, why was she crying? She was supposed to be fine, nothing bad happened yet, she didn't deserve to cry, these tears didn't need to be spilled but then why... Why was she... 'Why am I...' 'I don't want to, please no stop'

Falling to her knees, she covered her face and let out a scream. After what seemed like forever she got up. As she about to reach kitchen, her head started to feel dizzy and her vision started to blur. 'Oh...am I falling?' Flailing her arms she caught the chair and fell to the ground but not on her head thankfully. One hand covered her eyes and the other gripped the chair.

Waiting for her vision to come back, she just sat there with her head on her knees. She got up and walked over to open the fridge. She saw a dish with her name on it. "Did he cook it? Wait he can cook?! But i guess his mom did say that he can cook, oh well. Let's eat then" she talked to herself. She warmed up the food and ate a small portion, anymore and she might vomit.

It wasn't as if the food was bad, in fact it was actually amazing, but the thing was that she wasn't used to eating a lot. I mean not eating breakfast, usually skipping dinner, not eating anything at all for days and when eating, just eating ramen and cup noodles. What else could you expect. She covered the food up and with a blur vision went back to what seemed like her room, what else did she have to do anyways.

Laying inside her blanket, the warmth covered her. 'It smells nice' she thought as she cuddled herself inside the blanket. She kept scrolling on her phone and unknowingly she had fallen into deep slumber.

-meanwhile-

'Rrrrring' the bell rang as the students were alerted that the eighth lesson had started. As for usui, he was just on the roof, staring off into the sky, admiring the clouds. Sometimes he wished he was a cloud. Why you ask? To him, clouds were just so carefree. Floating off into nowhere and everywhere at the same time, not having a care in the world.

sigh* did he want to go home or did he not? He wanted to because he was worried, he didn't want to cause he didn't know how to face her. What should he say, would she even want to see his face? And how was gonna mask his worry for her after seeing her wrists, her whole arms in fact in that state. It wasn't that he didn't want to, he wanted to so bad but it was as if a wall was obstructing him from comforting her. The only reason he got through at that time was because her walls were weakened but what now? How was he going to get through.

She self-harmed and that day she was trying to suicide. Her whimpers when he applied an ointment to them, her cries in her sleep for reasons he didn't know, her holding him close as if scared to let go, scared that he'll fade away, these thing wouldn't go away from his mind. She was so... Fragile. Like a flower petal that'll turn into dust with anymore harshness.

It really broke his heart, he had a never ending pain in his chest. He even cried for her a few times in the night, she didn't deserve this. He wanted to show her love and he will, God had given him a chance to be closer to her and he wouldn't let it go.

"Sometimes I just wish I was a cloud" he sighed and stood up. It was the middle of December, and freezing at that. Light droplets of rain started to pour as he was walking on his way to the door. Such a depressing weather, he thought and proceeded on going home.

~time skip~

"I'm home" he announced as he walked in the apartment. The lights were off and on the kitchen table laid a less then half eaten dish of food that he had prepared. Well, at least she ate. He clicked open the door to his room and threw his jacket on the chair. He went to the bathroom, took a bath with hot water and came out with a towel wrapped around him. As he was changing he noticed that there was someone in the blanket?!?!

He wore pants and quickly wore a shirt on top, unbuttoned. *wink wink wink wink*

He walked over and there laid a peacefully sleeping Misaki.

Usui's point of view

What...why... Did She mistake the rooms? Oh geez~ now I have to place her back or else I don't know if I'll be the one trouble or would it just be extremely awkward. But then again... She looks so peaceful like that...

I took a strand of her silky Raven hair, her soft breathing, her calm expression, she was truly such a beauty. I softly removed the covers off of her and took her gently in my arms. She didn't seem to notice but she cuddled up closer to me. 'Ba'dump' my heart skipped a beat as I blushed at the sight. She laid limply in my arms as she cuddled close to me, in her pjs which showed *ahrm* a bit of cleavage.

But even their laid some cuts, what was she doing to herself. I sighed and held her close as I walked over to her room. Their laid the bandages that I had wrapped around her arm. I laid her in bed and walked over to pick those up. After throwing them out i got new bandages and started to gently apply some ointment to her wounds. Every time I touched her scar, she would flinch in pain.

"Honestly, why would you do it if it hurts huh?..." I whispered to myself and slowly but surely wrapped her arm again.

Authors p.o.v

As he was exiting the room, she opened her eyes, fully aware of everything that had happened as she woke up when he laid her in bed. She turned to her side and held her arms close to her chest as tears slowly started to skip form her eyes. 'Why was he so nice to me? Why are you doing this for me?' Her thoughts had disturbed her mind. 'Is it out of pity? Out of pride? Do you just look down on me?'

She tried to sleep but couldn't. The pain in her chest grew but due to hunger this time. She grabbed her stomach and groaned lightly. As she was deep in her thoughts, a sudden knock on the door made her jolt in bed.

"Ayuzawa, dinners ready... I don't know if you want to eat or not bu-"

The door opened to reveal none other than Ayuzawa Misaki. "I'll eat" she said as she walked over to the kitchen and sat down on the table. It surely smelled delicious.

He placed both plates on the table and sat across from her. As they both started to eat she questioned him. "Why did you bandage my arm? Did you do it out of pity? I bet you've already spread rumors. And I guess you also find me disgusting" she showed him a bitter smile with a bone chilling gaze. "Did you have fun making a joke out of me in school? I bet you don't even want me in your house any-"

He stuffed a fork of spaghetti in her mouth to shut her down as he then started to speak, "I don't think you're disgusting, if you were I wouldn't be doing these things for you. I've never believed any rumors about you and only a fool would spread one. Misaki, I'm truly worried about you. You don't know the pain I felt when I saw your scars. I genuinely care for you. And I want you to depend on me when you have a hard time, I promise I'll try my best to make it go away, I will make go away." What had he just said.

His shocked expression mirrored hers and she soon let out a grim laugh. Her eyes narrowed and her mouth curved up in a sly smile, "I look forward to it then." A heavy silence followed as not soon the plates were empty. He took them to the sink and washed them, while she just went back to her room.

He placed his head on his arm and sighed. 'What now?' He wondered.

~boredotaku


	8. Chapter 7: Serenity

**Sorry for the late update ;-;**

She laid in her bed, breathing softly as she stared at the ceiling. Her feet hanged lifelessly down the bed, ice cold but it didn't worry her... It was usual. The sun was setting as a red hue spread over the sky... 'red...' She sighed as she brought up her arm and stared at it, only for it to fall back due to lack of strength. What was she doing to herself... *sigh*

Her mind was blank, her eyes were deathly. The look on her face was that of someone who was to be executed in the next hour. What had just happened, why would he say that... 'Depend on me' and saying stuff like genuinely caring for her... "I...just can't believe that-"

knock* *knock*

It took her a minute to register that sound. Another knock was heard at the door and it snapped her out of her thoughts. She sat up and held her head in her palm before walking barefoot to the door. She opened it slightly and peeked out from the side. He looked down at her with soft eyes and a look she couldn't register.

"Ayuzawa..." He looked down, maybe deciding over what to say, she assumed. Who in their right mind would come back after something like that. He looked back up again, locking her gaze in his. All thoughts left her as only his voice resonated in her head. "I have dinner ready, you should eat." He spoke with such affection that she couldn't say no, even though she wanted anything other than food right now.

She looked down, avoiding his gaze. He noticed her fidgeting and sighed loudly which caused her to look back up again. He had a genuine smile on his face and was that... Worry? Was he worried for her? He put his hand on her head and pat it gently. She blushed and turned her head sideways to avoid him from seeing her embarrassment.

'Just like a kitten~' he thought. He caressed her head, speaking ever so gently, "It's fine if you don't want to eat right now, I'll leave your portion in the fridge. Eat it anytime you want ok?" She just nodded and closed the door behind her. He let out another audible sigh and walked over to the couch. As if all the power had been drained out of his body, he slumped down on the couch, his arm over his eyes with another sigh escaping his lips.

He seriously has been sighing a lot lately, 'haaa, so exhausting' he murmured. On the other side, she slid down the door, bringing her knees up to her chest and letting out a breath she didn't know she was holding in. She timidly brought her hand up to her head, as if scared that someone would see her, and caressed her head lightly. An expression adorned her face, one that she had never made before and one she'll never know she made.

A few moments later~

The bright colors dimmed out and the darkness finally took over the sky. She peaked out and saw white light twinkling in the darkness. Not being able to hold herself back, she opened the door to the balcony and stepped out. The cold was unbearable, she was shivering uncontrollably yet she ignored it, like it wasn't even their in the first place. She placed her hand on the railing, leaning on it and looked up at the sky.

Somehow, it brought back memories she wished to never remember. Back when she was still nine years old... "Heh, twelve years ago, huh?" She whispered. Thinking about it now, it was around this time of the year that she found out how cruel and poisonous people can be. She was just walking down the corridor, on her way to the canteen, like usual, she heard rumors about her, like usual, she was tripped a couple of times by the bullies, like usual, however it didn't matter to her then. She had a friend now after all.

Someone she could share everything with, someone who she could rely on, someone she could share lunch with, a True Friend. She let out a sarcastic chuckle, how naive she was back then. It was that day, the same chilly day, when she overheard her 'True Friend' chuckling and laughing heartedly while telling everyone the problems that she had shared with her. She gripped the railing tighter as an attempt to calm herself.

Truly, such a bitch she was. And what was her luck that the same girl would stick to her till high-school, and even be in the same class. Despite the fact that she had done all that, she still acts as if nothing ever happened. Salt to the wound, she even started new, worse rumors about her. "I often forget her name, not that I'd like to remember." She looked down from the balcony and realized how high up she was. If she remembered correctly, this was the highest floor in the apartment complex. She could clearly see almost everything from up here.

"I wonder how mortified people down there will be if I were to jump right now. *chuckle* I bet it would be all over the news, 'girl jumps from the highest building in Tokyo' or even better, no one would even notice. Hahaaa. Though, I'm not in the mood to die... right now..." She mumbled the last part and leaned on the icy bars, hanging her arm limply. "Yeah... not in the mood..." She lazed around for a while thinking about nothing yet something at the same time.

She stood straight and stretched out, letting out a big sigh. For some reason she was craving hot chocolate. 'Must be the weather.' She scurried back into the room and opened her wardrobe. She wore a black shirt, certainly too big on her, and jeans. She tied her hair up, her fringe covering her eye as usual, and put her cap on to avoid anyone recognizing her. It really would be such a bother. Putting her wallet in the back pocket, she exited her room. Her eyes wandered around the living room and spotted some legs hanging limply down the arm of the sofa.

She froze for a second thinking that she had just seen a dead body, but moving closer, it was just usui. Was he sleeping? She went to his side and reached her arm out wanting to wake him up. She stopped halfway through. Why would she wanna wake him up anyway? It wasn't like he was anything to her but her roommate... She retreated her arm and turned around. As she was about to walk away she felt a tug at her arm.

She turned around to see half lidded emerald eyes staring right back at her. He was still laying down in the same position, his arm still on his eyes, or rather, eye. He pulled her down hard which resulted in her almost falling on top of him. Her heart seemed to have gone in a frenzy as she could clearly hear the thumping loud and clear. Good thing she had gotten a hold of the the sofa or she would've fallen right on top of him.

He stared at her get up for a second and asked if she was going out somewhere. "Huh? Uh- yeah, I was just going out to get something to drink." She said monotonously. "What? Alcohol? Aren't you too young for it" He accused. It certainly wasn't his business, but that stare caused her to answer despite her unwillingness. "...hot chocolate."

He suddenly sat up on the couch, legs crossed, still not releasing her arm. "I can make it at home you know." "But I want to go out...it's been a while." She murmured to herself. He still heard her due to his abnormal hearing ability. "Then sit here and wait for a while, I'll come with you" he left her after ordering her and for some reason she obeyed. She flopped down on the couch, staring blankly at the carpet. Not soon after he came back.

"Alright, let's go" he announced. She looked over at him and saw him dressed casually... What was wrong with what he was wearing before? "The previous shirt got crinkled up, that's why. I think we should go now, I know a good place" wait-wha, how did he-

He walked over to the door and she followed him hastily, not wanting to be left behind. They both walked at a considerable distance from each other. As per usual, for usui, the ladies around the street were murmuring about how handsome he was. Some were even bold enough to invite him out to 'have some fun', but he rejected them all. 'Weird guy', she thought.

Staring at him wasn't the best idea, as she being the klutz of the school, tripped. Over nothing. At all. She was quick to pick herself up, thinking that no one noticed. He, however, did. He sighed inaudibly. 'She should rely on me more...'

"Um, where are we going?" She asked curious to know. He turned around and grinned at her boyishly, "you'll know when we reach there." She once again wasn't able to argue. He slowed his pace so he could walk side by side her. He noticed her scraped knee but didn't say anything as they walked together in a comfortable silence.

They finally reached the shop. She had a confused look on her face, probably wondering, 'what's so special about this place?' He smirked and walked in, she just followed behind. He talked over with the the receptionist and then they were guided to their seats. It was a seat in the third floors' balcony. There was just something so, so... Calming about this place. The dim lights, the fresh air, the beautiful flowers around them (in pots of course) and the soft artificial grass underneath.

The waitress arrived with our orders... Wait. When did he even order. He glanced over to see her puzzled look on her face. "Hmm? Oh, I ordered at the reception. This place is my dads. He likes to cook." That explains it. The waitress left the tray with the Hot Chocolates and.. A bandage? He picked bandage and suddenly walked over to her.

She was obviously confused. He kneeled down in front of her and gently touched her leg. She jolted at the sudden contact and tried to stand up but he held her arm making her unable to do so. "You got your knee hurt, didn't you." It was a statement rather than a question. "Y-yeah, but it doesn't hurt anywa- ouch!" She hissed in pain as he pressed on her wound.

"Doesn't hurt huh?" He glared at her causing her to sit still. He can really be scary sometimes. She closed her eyes as to not feel anything. A moment later she felt a hand on her head, or rather her cap. "All done" he smiled at her and walked back to his seat. "Drink it or it'll turn cold" he said.

It had such a rich aroma, such a sweet flavor. It was certainly the tastiest cup of Hot Chocolate she had ever had. He chuckled slightly at seeing her expression. She didn't hear it though. After having their drink, they walked home together, maintaining distance of course. He slowed his pace so she didn't have to push herself too much.

On the way she spotted the same 'Friend' from back then. She clicked her tongue and pulled her cap lower, so she couldn't recognize her. It seemed to have worked for she didn't notice. She did notice the great 'Usui Takumi' though. She and the group of her friends flocked around him like flies on a dessert. She walked past them and when she was far enough, she took of her cap, declaring it as an annoyance.

He watched her walk past them, this wasn't like her. She usually ignored and waited for a bit but this time she just walked away. He saw her disappear into the crowd, her pace was quite fast. "Ne, usui-kun, let's go have a drink. There's this reaaally good coffee shop" she spoke with a high-pitched voice. "I already had somethin-" "then we can go to a karaoke" "yea, that'd be fun, let's go usui-kun"

He really just wanted to catch up to her, who knew how far she would've gone already. How to get rid of them...! "Ladies, it's really late right now. I think you should all go and sleep. I wouldn't want any eye bags on your beautiful faces, would i?" And there it was, his ladykiller side that had saved him from whi knows how many situations. All he heard after that were kyaas and I love yous' and then the mob left.

He sighed in relief and ran as fast as he could towards the apartment building. 'She must be about to reach' he thought as he rushed through the crowd.

She let the cool winter breeze hit her face. It really was refreshing. What sour luck to see the one person she despised. She sighed and quickened her pace, wanting to just lay in her room without any disturbance.

Not soon her walk ended as she arrived in front of the building... Alone. It didn't use to bother her. She had gotten used to being alone all the time, but somehow she felt lonely walking alone this night. She heard some heavy footsteps approaching her and suddenly two hands grasped her from behind, shaking her whole frame. She almost choked on air.

"Haa- haa- haaaaa. Ayuzawa, wait for me will you?" He said trying to catch his breath. He put all his weight on her shoulders, finding it quite comfortable. "I thought you were busy." She stated trying to shrug him off but he just wouldn't budge. 'How stubborn can he be?'

"Don't ever do this again, geez. And I was Not busy." He put his arm around her, still putting the weight on her and they both walked together to the elevator. (Arm around her like guys do it, uno... like... You get me?)

In the elevator- "when are you gonna take your arm off of me. You're heavy" "eh, but I like leaning on Misa-kun." "Wait, did you just call me a man-" "but Misa-chan is the hottest" "huh- what- You Perver-" "our floor's here, let's go" he announced and dragged her along him with merrily. She tried to protest but then just sighed and went along with it.

At the apartment- They were both sitting at each end of the couch, watching TV quietly when he decided to break off the silence. "Ne, Ayuzawa." He spoke casually. Honestly when did they get so close to be watching TV together. When? "Hmm" she answered casually as well while nibbling on a chip. "It's about time to change the dressing" "huh? I'll change out of these in a while, is it bothering you?" She asked not paying any mind to him. "No, not that, you look quite hot in those actually. But I was talking about the one on your arms."

It took her second to register what he said. First she fumed and then she blew a fuse. "Stop calling me that!" She screamed at him as he chuckled, "but it really is time to change the dressing on your wounds." Not wanting to ruin this 'mood' she decided to feign ignorance. "Ayuzawa", he said seriously, he knew what she was trying to do but what was important, was important. "Ayuzawa.", he warned yet she continued to nibble on another chip, still ignoring him. She really didn't want to show him, it was...ugly. And whenever he changed the dressing, it was always when she was unconscious or sleeping. Why act so bold now?

He switched off the TV and pushed her down on the couch, hovering over her. "Misaki", he called her by her name this time. Her heart started beating faster as she tried to push him away. He held her hand in his and pushed her sleeve down, revealing her bandaged arm. He sighed, it was about his tenth sigh today. "It's about time I change these." She couldn't say anything and just looked down. "Don't look at these... They're ugly" she murmured to herself.

He pulled her up and hugged her for a short while. Too short that she barely had any time to register what was happening. He pulled back from her and went to get the first-aid kit. He came back and asked her for her arm. She coolly brought it up to him and he gently unwrapped the bandages. They looked better than before and it didn't seem like she had done it again. He applied some ointment as she was holding back her voice. "It okay to say it hurts when it does you know." He said not looking up at her directly.

She just looked away. Wether it was on purpose or not, he applied the ointment on a quite deep spot causing her to hiss in pain and yank her hand back. "It hurts." She said following what he had just stated. He smiled at her and caressed her face. "I'll be gentle, I promise" he stated. She didn't pay mind to the double meaning, wether intended or not. He kept smiling softly and as promised, gently applied the ointment. After it was done, he offered her to watch a movie.

"Eh, when did we get so close?" He chuckled at her question and replied, "we're gonna be living together anyways, so isn't it better this way?" She said nothing in return and taking the silence as a yes he played a movie. "Are you ok with horror?"

"Yea, pretty much" she replied nonchalantly. "It's actually my favorite genre."

He chuckled yet again, "And yet you're bad with thunder." Her face became expressionless as he regretted saying what he did. "It's just... Some bad memories, that's all- how do you even know about this?" She asked quite curious to know. "You're actually a stalker aren't you?" She pointed an accusing finger at him.

And that cracked him up, "you've been giving me some really unique nicknames you know, first an idiot, than a perverted freak and now a stalker. I guess I'm an idiotic perverted stalker huh?" And he kept laughing after than. "You still didn't answer my question" she spoke unamused. "haha, fuuu. I actually saw you in detention one time. You had your head down and it was stormy. I saw you jolt every time there was thunder or lightning, so I just guessed."

"So you really are a stalker..." She mumbled incoherently. He laughed again, "who knows, maybe I am." She glanced at him. Seeing how he was enjoying himself, she unconsciously wore a smile. He looked at her, that genuine smile. Ba-dump. Ba-dump. Ba-dump. His heart beat painfully in his chest as he swallowed a lump that had formed in his throat. "This is the first time I've seen you smile."

She looked shocked and started touching her face unconsciously, "I didn't smile!" He looked at her honest expression and let out a hearty chuckle, "you did" "no I didn't!" She fumed. A scream broke off the moment.

They both turned around to look at the TV and realized that the movie was still playing. The two looked back at each other and saw the expression on each other's face. They both turned around at the same time, she trying to control her laughter due to the weird look he gave and him trying to control his heartbeat due to the shock.

"So even you can be scared huh?" "I wasn't-" "watch the movie." She said feeling a sense of victory wash over her.

A little late in the movie "Won't you eat?" He asked concerned about her. She looked at him, "I'm not exactly 'used' to eating much. The one in the afternoon was enough for me." He didn't argue with her reason but it still didn't settle with him. He looked over at her frail body. She looked so vulnerable and her complexion didn't look that good either... 'You really like to make me worry, don't you"

He stretched back on the couch and looked at the movie. His mind was elsewhere yet his gaze was fixed on screen. A certain scene was going on, with the woman in the movie being in a bathroom, alone at home. She's washing her face with the bathroom door open and it creaks a bit. She looks back but three nothing. She looks in the mirror and she's the door slowly closing. And then it slams close with a loud thud.

Then the light starts to flicker and she looked back at door. When she looked at the mirror again she sees a frail old girl with ebony hair and skin as white as snow. He sighed. Such a typical horror movie scene. He looked over at her, tracing her for any signs of fear. She looked unbothered. "Normally girls would be scared" he said wanting to start a conversation.

"I've been watching horror movies since I was twelve. It was a common pass time since neither mom or dad would be home." Her eyes were looking at a distance as she spoke. "I see. They said it'll rain a lot this weekend" he tried yet again to converse. "hmm, I heard. Do you like it?" She questioned getting the hint. "I like looking at it but not so much when I get wet." He shared his honest opinion. "Nobody likes to get wet in the rain. I don't really like it either way, it clouds the sky."

"Hmm.." That's all he said in return and they both turned their attention back at the movie. Apparently the ghost had almost killed everyone but the protagonist and they were exorcising the ghost. He heard a faint chuckle and looked at the source, "it's such a typical movie." She said with a lopsided smile. "I agree" he said standing up. "Where're you going?" She asked him out of pure curiosity. His heart clenched as he coughed and then replied, "the kitchen, wanna come?" "Hmm, sure."

Wasn't like she had anything better to do. They both went in the kitchen as she sat down on the table and just watched him do his thing. She laid her head in her arms and kept staring at him, mesmerized by his moves. He knew his way around the kitchen a bit too well. She found herself dozing off when he stood in front of her with a cup. "Have some camomile tea, it'll help get a better sleep."

"You're having coffee?" She asked as she smelled the strong aroma of it. "Yeah, I have some work I need to finish." She just hummed and wrapped her hands around the cup, basking in its warmth. He patted her head and told her that he'll be going back in his room and that she should sleep. She just agreed and took the cup to her room. After watching her disappear behind the door, he too went inside his room, opened the laptop and started working.

Her head would be filled up with useless thoughts by now but there was nothing as such. She changed back into her pj's and laid in bed. She leaned back on the pillow and slowly took sips of the drink. She felt so drowsy, maybe because of the warmth that spread through her body every time she took a sip or maybe because she was just too exhausted due to everything that had been happening.

She went in a deep slumber, and certainly she hadn't had a sleep this nice in a really long time.

~boredotaku6

Chapter 7: Serenity


	9. Chapter 8: Confidence and Cowardice

Her eyelids fluttered open, as the first thing she did was stretch out on the bed, feeling her muscles pull. "Ouch.." She groaned, maybe they pulled a little too hard as she felt her upper arm strain. She sat up on the bed yawning before she slowly got up and walked over to the balcony. A few steps in and black covered her vision as her head felt light and the feeling her arms and legs went numb. She flailed her arm to catch on to something. Her hands came in contact with the curtains. She clutched them tightly in her hands, holding on to dear life till her vision came back to normal. anemia, am I right? ~( *-*~)

Her heart was in a frenzy as she sat down to regain her strength. Maybe it was a bad idea to skip dinner after all... She sighed and got up with the support of the mighty curtains and walked outside. She leaned down on the rails and stood there observing the hue spread over the night sky. The fresh air of the early morning and cool winter breeze... she took a deep breath and stretched out once again. After what seemed like five minutes, she skipped back into the room and closed the door behind her.

She went to the bathroom and took off her clothes, getting goosebumps as the cold air hit her bare skin. She shivered as her hands skimmed the cold metal handle in an attempt to start the shower. Water gushed out of the shower head as the sound of the water droplets echoed in the bathroom. She stepped in and let herself relax as the water drops massaged her skin. She let out a sigh of content and started to wash herself.

Soon enough, she was finished with the shower. She reached out her hand to grab the towel and wrapped it around here petite frame. Cold water dripped from her hair onto her shoulder, causing her to shiver, as she filled up the bath. Checking if the temperature was right, she stepped in, peeling the wet fabric off of her. She brought her knees close to her chest, unwilling to lean on the cold surface of the tub.

She didn't want to look at herself, at her scars. They looked utterly disgusting. Every time she looked at herself in the mirror, she felt as if she wanted to puke. Her deathly pale skin on which remained the marks of her previous assaults. She was thin to point where she didn't even want to look at herself. When she saw eye to eye in the mirror, the hate she bore for herself was far more viscous than the one she had seen in the eyes of others.

These were the moments when she wished that someone would come and bother her, she sighed. She picked her up phone from the counter to check the time, "5:24..." she mumbled to herself. "Just a few more minutes." She closed her eyes and allowed herself to bask in the warmth of the water.

a few moments later_

She walked over to the closet, tightly clutching the towel around herself. She rummaged through her closet to find her favorite onesie when her eyes landed on a specific article of clothing. Her heart sank as she picked it up shakily. Her school uniform... Just two more days and she'd be unable to graduate due to lack of attendance. Even though she had wanted to take a leave for a week, the school only allowed her two days off. So technically, she had been absent for about five days or so.

Counting her previous absences, she found no loop hole to escape... It just wouldn't work out. She had been doing her assignments prior to the given time so it wouldn't be a problem if she were to go back. However the problem was... the problem was something she couldn't control. Will she be alright? She didn't know. She didn't want to run away from her problems but just the thought of those snide remarks and fake accusations grew her urge to disappear.

She clenched her fist, her nails digging into the palm of her left hand. She couldn't run away anymore, even if she were to take another day off, nothing would change. After all, she was feeling a lot better than before. She let the towel drop from her body and started to dress. She clasped her bra, hissing as she felt her skin stretch. Although some had healed, some were still deep. She slowly slid her panties up her thighs. No matter how bad the feeling in her chest, she paid no mind and dressed up in the uniform. She once again went through her clothes in search for her sweater and wore it on top.

She stood in front of the mirror and looked at her reflection staring back at her. 'It'll be fine, it'll be fine, it'll be fine, fine, fine, fine...' she kept mumbling while staring at herself. She brought her arm up and clutched her shoulder tightly, "it'll be fine." She said in an attempt to convince herself, though deep down she knew it was all a lie.

She dragged herself over to the door, her thoughts never once leaving her. She took in a deep breath and turned the handle, resulting in the door opening with a light click. She stepped out and roamed around the dark empty apartment. A little sunlight illuminated the room but it clearly wasn't sufficient. She abandoned the living room and looked around in the kitchen instead, yet, found no one. What, or rather, who was she hoping to find anyways.

Unconsciously she started roaming around the kitchen to gather ingredients. Surprisingly so, she found everything she had needed for the job. She scanned around the kitchen and found the apron. Obviously, she didn't want to dirty her uniform. 'Cooking' it was always a way for her to distract herself though most of the times she just found herself deep in thought. She got a bowl and started pouring the ingredients without measurements, certainly quite used to making the dish.

Haaa, yes, Fluffy Pancakes. It was such a small word, an insignificant existence yet the bitter memories attached to it were far from 'small' or 'insignificant'. Mixing the things together her thoughts drifted back to the past. Was she twelve? or thirteen? She certainly couldn't remember. What she did remember though, was the face of her mother as she threw the plate into the wall. The expression of utter disgust. She could still remember the feeling of terror, that heartbreak as her mother screamed at her, calling her a nuisance and to add to injury, a burden, to her face. Of course these were not the only insults.

She remembered practicing everyday, since neither mom nor dad were home. It was in hopes of them maybe returning back home. She believed that if she made something delicious, they would come back home and praise her for doing such a great job. She chuckled darkly while pouring the batter slowly onto the pan, she got why her mother had behaved as such but the fact that it caused a drastic effect in her life would never change.

It wasn't as if she hated them, she knew for certain she didn't hate them. After all, adults had problems. Father developed a drinking habit and mother started smoking. Cigarettes were like water to her, a few packs a day were nothing. And dad... even though he left drinking for my sake, it still effected him a lot, causing him to became weak. She could do nothing but watch her family fall apart back then, and she could do nothing right now either. That undeniable that she was weak and powerless bothered her to no end. The fact that she had no authority what so ever...

She opened the fridge and looked for fruits she could use for toppings. The cream was ready and all that was left was to do was to top them off with fruits. She spotted some blueberries at the side of the fridge. Picking that as her best option, she took them out. They seemed fresh, so it should be fine. She cut them up neatly and finished up her pancakes. She put all the dishes in the sink, cleaned up the counter, and placed the plates on the table.

And now, for the hard part...how to call usui. It was bugging her at the back of her mind. She thoughtlessly had made breakfast for two and she didn't really want to waste it. She thought about knocking on his door but then wouldn't that seem too friendly? Why did she even make breakfast, it wasn't like it helped her escape from her thoughts, it just made it worse. She started to pace back and forth, from the kitchen's entrance till the counter.

She was at the point of scratching her head when she hit something, hard. Startled she looked up, finding herself staring back at a pair of glistening emerald eyes. It wasn't something but rather someone. She backed off immediately and put her hands up in front of her as instinct. An awkward silence filled the room as they both stared at each other. Looking closely she noticed the bags under his eyes...'did he not sleep?' She wondered.

Deciding to break off the silence, she boldly invited him to eat, "I made breakfast... You don't have to eat it, it's your choice." She stated not wanting to speak any further. She took her seat and picked up her fork. "Would you like some coffee?" He asked her as if it were the normal thing to do. She nodded in a yes. After serving her her drink, he too sat down at the table. "Did you make these?" It was a stupid question with an obvious answer. "Who else?" She replied. "You didn't have to" he said.

'I really didn't...' she agreed in her thoughts while she said nothing in return. He was grateful that she had made today's breakfast, apart from just being grateful he was also happy. He had stayed up all night working on something, he drank too much coffee, to the point where his chest had started to hurt and he was feeling dizzy. He hadn't even gotten a wink of sleep and he was feeling very irritate. When she had bumped into him, he felt the urge to hug her tight wash. Her faint yet fresh scent wafted in his nose indicating she just had a shower. It was so refreshing to him, that even if just a little, his pain was eased.

Shrugging such thoughts out of his mind, he took a bite out of the food and sighed in contentment as the flavor melted in his mouth. "It's really good! I didn't know that Ayuzawa could cook." He said taking another bite. She stared at him for a second to see if he was lying or flattering her but she found none. However she did notice him trying his best to keep awake. She looked down at her food, mentally scolding herself for staring too much. "I can't. I can't cook proper meals", she started. "Only little things like snacks or desserts." He hummed at her reply, "I'd like it if Ayuzawa made a cake for me~" he mused.

She ignored it mumbling a, 'don't push your luck' as he just chuckled. They ate in a comfortable silence, even though they both wanted to ask some question. After they both had finished he offered to wash the dishes, she didn't oppose. She watched as he staggered towards the sink. He washed the dishes and placed them in the rack one by one. "You didn't sleep, did you?" She asked as she leaned on the door frame. He turned around and smiled at her not saying anything. His usually dazzling smile was rather dull and tired. His complexion didn't look good either and when she bumped into him, even though she was startled, she could feel the heat radiating off of him.

She sighed and walked over to him. She stood in front of him and before he could say anything, she slapped her hand against his forehead. Why was she doing this? It wasn't like his matters concerned her, yet it felt as if her body had a mind of it's own. She frowned at the contact. His forehead was so hot that she could crack up some eggs on it and they'd probably cook perfectly.

(pfft, lol. This is what happens to your writings when you stay up too late =~=. )

Maybe she was exaggerating a bit, but- but, "I don't think you should go to school today." It was more of an order than an opinion. He tried to retaliate but she didn't let him. Somehow he was dragged back to his room and tucked in his bed. "I guess I'll leave you some pills. Take them when you feel like it." She unconsciously reached her hand forward and ruffled his hair before freezing. What...had she just done. He was surprised at first but then smiled genuinely, loving the smooth motion.

Her eyes were wide as she thought up of reasons to justify her actions, when she felt a warm hand on top hers. She looked down to see usui holding it. He started to move her hand, hinting her that she should continue, and much to his surprise, she did.

She gently combed her fingers through his hair. She had no idea why but the idea of him being sick at home bothered her. She'd feel guilty leaving him alone at home but her consciousness told her otherwise. Should she go to school, she'd have to deal with...'them' and should she stay here, she'd have to take care of usui. The latter didn't bother her at all compared to the idea of her state ding school. Her heart told her to stay but her head told her the leave. She was feeling guilt for no reason. She snapped out her train of thoughts and looked at the body in front of her.

He had surprisingly fallen asleep. She sighed, 'maybe you did save me...' She mumbled to herself. She herself didn't know if the words that she had just said were true or not, or if they were connected to her feeling at all. All he did was give her another excuse to run away...but then why did she feel such relief. She had just discarded the thought of running away, the thought of cowering, yet why... She couldn't answer her questions but deep down she knew that she had all the answers she needed. It was as if she was disregarding the thoughts due to the fear of facing them, the fear that she'll forget who she really is. Deep down, maybe she was just afraid of change but she still wanted a change that would put at her ease.

Her thoughts were so contradicting.

She came back to her senses after watching the young man stir in his sleep. He...he looked so peaceful. Who would've thought that just a few head pats would put the stubborn man into deep slumber. She chuckled at his innocence. She gently stroked his hair and left room to change out of her uniform. If he had given her a reason to stay, why not just accept it. Besides, he really did have a high fever, and nobody to take of him. She knew that feeling all too well.

She rarely ever got sick back then but when she did, it was as if she was on the verge of death. She had hoped that her parents would come in and coddle her, maybe even spoil her but in the end she was just hoping for too much. All they would do would just blame her for her own condition. They weren't wrong, however... a young child really needed her parent's love and care rather than their scolding. Sometimes she had wondered why she was brought into this world. Just to suffer?

She sighed, what bad parents they were. Somehow, taking her clothes off took some weight off of her chest. She wore a soft and comfortable onesie and walked back to the room of the other. She walked over quietly as to not wake him up and kneeled down besides his bed. She took this as her payback for all that he had done for her, even if that was something she didn't ask for. She supported her self with her elbow and stared at the individual for quite some time before getting up and exiting the room once again.

This time she came back with cold water and a short towel. She once again kneeled besides his bed and placed the towel gently on his head not willing for him to wake up. The cool substance had a pleasant feel to it as usui just drifted further into sleep...

He woke up in the afternoon as he felt a damp substance on his head. He looked around the room and saw no traces of a person. He knew that Misaki had taken care of him but waking up to an empty room really made him feel lonely. He looked at his counter and spotted the medicine she had left for him alongside the glass of water. He gulped it down as he frowned at the after taste. "So bitter..." He croaked holding his throat.

Right then Misaki had walked in with soup in her hands. She looked at him, holding his throat with a pained expression on his face and she assumed the worst. She rushed over to his side, careful not to drop the bowl. The placed the bowl down hastily, burning herself as the content spilled on her fingers, only a bit. Ignoring her own pain, she tend to usui. "Is something wrong? Are you okay? Water. I'll go get some water." She panicked and was about to run off into the kitchen when she felt a tug at her wrist.

She turned back around to see him look at her funnily, confusion written over her face. He chuckled as he pulled her down so she was sitting on the bed. She was dumbfounded. "The medicine was just too bitter", he said laughing through his nose. It took her a second to register what he had said. 'The medicine was just too bitter' these words echoed in her mind a few times before she stood up and ran out of the room. Her face red in embarrassment as she used her hands to cover it up.

She was so stupid, so so stupid. No. He was the stupid one, 'idiot usui' she mumbled with her head in her lap as she sat on the couch. He just stayed in his room, laughing at her cute actions. She was too cute, she made his heart throb without even realizing it. 'So sly..' He said as he drank his soup.

The day passed and darkness took over the sky. He was in the kitchen cooking as he was feeling a lot better than before. Though Misaki had wanted to protest, she found no reason, whatsoever, to do so. She just sat there at the table, once again mesmerized as she watched him move swiftly around the kitchen. It felt so odd, seeing someone cook for her, yet so calming, knowing that someone was there. She felt a wave of relief wash over her and she found herself nodding off.

She sound of utensils clattering and scent of delicious food cooking spread an unknown warmth in her icy, cold heart. It put her mind at ease. She felt usui pat her head, "just wait a little more." She heard him say in an hushed tone. After a while he placed two dishes on the table. It was... Small. "It's something to grow an appetite." He explained, getting the gist of what was running through her small head.

"You need to eat more", he scolded as he poked her forehead with one finger. Though his tone was serious, his expression was soft. She said nothing as her heart clenched. The fact that someone was scolding her, not because they were angry at her but because they cared for her was something so foreign to her. It made her feel... She looked up to see the worried look on usui face. He rushed to her side in a panic. "Why are you crying. I'm sorry I scolded you, I-I won't do it again." She stuttered.

A smile adorned her face as she nodded her head, "it's not you, I'm just... _Happy_." She said as tears streamed down her face. He let out a breath and pat her head, the guilt inside him fading. She never knew, rather, she had forgotten how it had felt to feel this. He just might...save her.

 ** _~boredotaku6_**


End file.
